You Couldn't Make It Up!

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twotimothytwo
Posts: 1646
Joined: Fri Feb 22, 2013 8:16 pm

You Couldn't Make It Up!

Post by twotimothytwo » Wed May 25, 2016 3:06 pm

Once everybody decided to confess when they had used a cellphone or even touched one or a cordless phone and that they had a judgement of the thing etc. and one elderly brother picked up the mike and confessed he had a cordless kettle at home.
http://friendshipgarden10538.yuku.com/t ... 0WwufkrLIU

twotimothytwo
Posts: 1646
Joined: Fri Feb 22, 2013 8:16 pm

Re: You Couldn't Make It Up!

Post by twotimothytwo » Tue May 31, 2016 10:15 am

I hadn't heard of the 'Messy Church' until today, but see a disturbing parallel with another organisation hoping to open it's doors in the same village.
The children had a competition to see who could make the highest tower made of coins
http://www.mobberleychurch.co.uk/11.html

Better make a note of that one, Beedy!

twotimothytwo
Posts: 1646
Joined: Fri Feb 22, 2013 8:16 pm

Re: You Couldn't Make It Up!

Post by twotimothytwo » Wed Jun 01, 2016 11:17 am

And Ehud said, "I have a message from God for you." And he arose from his seat. Ehud stretched out his left hand, took the sword from his right thigh and thrust it into his belly. The handle also went in after the blade, and the fat closed over the blade, for he did not draw the sword out of his belly
That warmed his belly. Now they'll warm yours!

Shame that people aren't so welcome in their churches or houses..
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son of peter
Posts: 54
Joined: Thu Mar 10, 2016 9:14 pm

Re: You Couldn't Make It Up!

Post by son of peter » Wed Jun 01, 2016 10:48 pm

Notice how the "helping" hand is maintaining separation from evil with a glove!

twotimothytwo
Posts: 1646
Joined: Fri Feb 22, 2013 8:16 pm

Re: You Couldn't Make It Up!

Post by twotimothytwo » Tue Jun 07, 2016 7:56 am

The call came at 6:30pm on a Saturday night; approximately 24 hours after our office was already "closed" for the weekend. The customer phoned Blast-One saying he urgently needed 200 feet of 18" Ducting ASAP! That's two pallets. Two large pallets he (not wanted, but) NEEDED in Los Angeles Sunday morning. The product, of course, was in our warehouse in Columbus, Ohio!

For most other companies, including our competitors, that request would be answered with a "Sorry Mate, we can't do it. We'll send it out Monday. Have a great weekend."

But Blast-One wanted to prove to the customer that we value his success and we will do whatever is possible to help his business.

Enter Valuable employee - Peter Kenimer.

At 7pm that Saturday, Peter enters our closed down warehouse and packs up the two pallets of ducting.

At 4:30am, Sunday morning, Peter and his brother arrive at the Columbus International Airport checking in these huge 88 pound boxes. 8 boxes at the Delta check-in counter.

6:30am Peter himself was wedged in the back seat of the 737 plane headed for Los Angeles!

By 8:30am Pacific Time, Peter was on the ground. Our Los Angeles Manager, Stuart Wilson, met Peter at the airport with the delivery truck and both of them drove straight to the customer's jobsite.

By 9:00am, Los Angeles time, the customer had the ducting!
http://www.blast-one.com/about/company- ... ny-story-5

And no doubt a smug peeb sat there in the 'supper' that morning thinking 'ka-ching'. Hallelujah, what an order!

Meet Peter Kenimer. Does he remind you of anybody?
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The Erect Vessel
Posts: 570
Joined: Fri Feb 22, 2013 2:19 am
Location: Not la la land

Re: You Couldn't Make It Up!

Post by The Erect Vessel » Thu Jun 09, 2016 2:24 pm

One feels moved in song at this juncture of the testingmoney at our beloved bugger Mr Knowitall

From the great Atlantic ocean to the wide Pacific shore
From the green New Hampshire mountains to the southland's cajun lore
He's mighty fat and bulging
And loved by one and all
He's drunk and eaten the genuine combination
To make him the size of a Cannonball

Would there be something in that for all of us do you feel?

(Just enquiring on behoof of the young you have to understand :shock: )

twotimothytwo
Posts: 1646
Joined: Fri Feb 22, 2013 8:16 pm

Re: You Couldn't Make It Up!

Post by twotimothytwo » Sun Jun 12, 2016 11:37 am

A woman with 10 children only finds out she has a medical condition after hiring a $1000 dollar an hour lawyer following a fatal car accident.
Senior constable Mike Farrell, who led the investigation, said it was an unusual defence. "It's on the disassociative spectrum which ranges from not paying attention to a neuropsychological illness.

"I'm not sure where it will go in setting a precedent."
http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/crime/8 ... atal-crash

I'm not sure how far members of the Plymouth Brethren Christian Church will go to avoid taking responsibility.

fisherman
Posts: 2858
Joined: Sun May 12, 2013 3:22 pm

Re: You Couldn't Make It Up!

Post by fisherman » Sun Jun 12, 2016 5:03 pm

PSDS:'white out,the act of not paying attention' didn't need to pay a lawyer $1000 an hour to come up with that ....every PB kid suffers from it ,sitting in church listening to endless (un) remarkable remarks about 'your dear father' and quotes from 'These Great Men'( they weren't) ..yadayada

twotimothytwo
Posts: 1646
Joined: Fri Feb 22, 2013 8:16 pm

Re: You Couldn't Make It Up!

Post by twotimothytwo » Wed Jun 22, 2016 8:19 pm

When the PBCC girls came out to play, Georgie Porgie didn't even know. They were in their own area as specified by FLT regulations.
There are separate designated areas inside and outside for boys and girls during break times, and these are to be respected.
http://swaffham.focus-school.com/downloads/prospectus/

twotimothytwo
Posts: 1646
Joined: Fri Feb 22, 2013 8:16 pm

Re: You Couldn't Make It Up!

Post by twotimothytwo » Fri Jul 08, 2016 4:18 pm

The logistic team of RRT (Rapid Relief Team)
https://www.theplymouthbrethren.org/fra ... r-in-lyon/

Closely affiliated no doubt with the bullshit team of RRT (Rapid Relief Team)

As long as I'm not in the sausage team with Gareth!

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