Spoof Reading

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The Erect Vessel
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Re: Spoof Reading

Post by The Erect Vessel » Tue Nov 27, 2018 10:05 am

Oh you are so not with what the Lord is currently stressing in these last and closing days of the testymoney brother BA. We call them mobiles now for goodness sakes and not portable telephone devices any longer... gee if you want to get to sit on the front row, you will have to open up your books and be liberal in sharing what you are donating to whats erect in our day!

Honestly!

Honestly you can just see if you have the eyes to see it, that while the irrefutable doctored up verse in 2Tim2 we all love; that will not change brackets or no brackets I'll give you 2 Tim 2....see, as One works up quite a frenetic voice with a 'be appealed to sort of crescendo', if you give in one inch to the leaping devil, he'll devour you and eat you up and you will be on the highway to HELL before you know it.

Oh be appealed to young person before its too late. As Mod is not gocked! Oh...the appeal it is going forth....in an attractive yet very solemn and serious way...be appealed to...

Mockers...could be a sin unto death you know, and a real challenge as to whether see, whether the Lord (always blame him) whether see, honestly you would have to question as to whether any of these wicked snotnosers ever had a link with whats Erect in our day eh? And if you didn't and don't have a link with what's Erect, well you can't get to Christ without going via Paul is what these great pedo..oops drinks, hic drunks..oops..men stated so clearly, backed up by the scripture in 3 Corinthians 1 verse 2.

Tell you, some people they just don't know what they are trifling with... the mind of the flesh and the mind of man in the the things of Dog just spells disaster with a capital F

son of peter
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Re: Spoof Reading

Post by son of peter » Sat Dec 15, 2018 10:55 pm

Here's a nice hymn we can all sing along to...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYmWZqkgJYE


Whiskey - get away
1 silver dollar for my bootleg
Whiskey - it's a hit
Don't give me that do-good bullshit
I'm going to ring the hills - with corn liquor moonshine stills

Whiskey - it's a sin
I know I'll never get to heaven
Whiskey - get back
The hounds are coming - gotta cover my tracks
Sheriff knocking on my door - and I shot him with my .44

ooo - ahhh

Whiskey - it's a crime
poor man's whiskey - bootleg moonshine
Whiskey - so they say
Is the root of all evil today
Grandpa was a whiskey man - so pass that bottle - fill up my dram....

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Balaam's Ass
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Re: Spoof Reading

Post by Balaam's Ass » Mon Dec 17, 2018 11:47 pm

Is there no balm in Gilead?

The Erect Vessel
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Re: Spoof Reading

Post by The Erect Vessel » Fri Dec 21, 2018 6:05 am

Bah! Humbug! I hate this time of the year. We all have to put up or shut up about Christmas, and nobody buys me any presents .... bah humbug. We are going to have a Christmas tree and party at our house anyway because I am the King Of The Castle and you are all the dirty rascals nah nah ne nah nah, and I'll tell you something else we are not going to stuff up like my old uncle did; silly clown didn't tie up all the loose ends - should have silenced Jimbo the Pedo Alcy - you know the pure man - but back to my point...Uncle Brooce the stupid goose he should have got my doctor friend to have fixed up - not with cyprostat - we reserve that for the young buggers sorry young brothers who just need ungayified. But seriously he could have had him dozed up with some drug or other and sent him off to lah lah land and then our dynasty would have never been interrupted by that rotten Red Indian half caste pig farmer.

So I am telling you now, we have got the dynasty signed sealed and delivered - it was going to be Garulous but he's well, its Bean my son Bean; he has got something - and don't you dare say a big fat belly or I'll have you shut up and steal your business off you quicker that you can say Our Beloved was a Pure Man.

He is being groomed, aww and it will be just undeniable, and you wouldn't even think of letting the mind of the flesh come into things. Mind of the flesh in the things of Dog just spells disaster.

Well that is all folks, and we shall see who has the last word.

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Balaam's Ass
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Re: Spoof Reading

Post by Balaam's Ass » Sat Dec 22, 2018 11:04 am

Well I saw Bruce out getting Gareth's chrissy pressie today. Socks again. But a little bit special!
Attachments
Sox.jpg

The Erect Vessel
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Re: Spoof Reading

Post by The Erect Vessel » Sun Dec 30, 2018 5:22 am

Just feeling things....and concerned on behalf of whether we are doing enough in relation to building our testymoney towards the outside world, as for some mysterious reason - probably leaping devils - although we have allowed ourselves to be called the Plymouth Really Honest Brethren Chri$tian Church hic burp...(Jen what did you put in these olives? They make me burp)...now where was I? Oh yes..see, see you have to understand that we are all honest God fearing humble money grabbing oops no forget that bit successful honest business Chri$tians see, because if God is not blessing you in your business it casts a great shadow over whether you are being blessed spiritually as well; pretty straightforward isn't it Mr Monkeyface over there? Why are you sitting three rows back anyhow?

M.M. (Miserable Monkeyface) Oh I think what you have brought up is very critical at this time. Just feel on my part we haven't done enough have we?

E.V. Well you might claim some things but I doubt if the Lord would go along fully with some of the matters that should have been kept out of the public eye.

M.M. Were you thinking in relation to the application and outcry by the public over the latest hall application?

E.V. Yes. See, its a simple matter. With God you see, when God comes into a matter who can stand against it, and if we are not on our faces then what can you say?

M.M. Would the man in John 9 come into the matter?

E.V. Oh I'll give you the man in John 9.....grr... I'll give you....maninJohn9 hisssss.

M.M. Would it help if we went home and did the usual by getting off our faces too were you thinking?

The Erect Vessel took ill at this point and the meeting had to be adjourned

The Erect Vessel
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Re: Spoof Reading

Post by The Erect Vessel » Tue Jan 08, 2019 4:52 am

In case you are wondering...The Rapture happened, and if you are reading this then you are left behind.
Ahh. Gotcha...One is so funny sometimes. Hilarious as well as humble and proud at the same time; almost omnipotent divine, immaculately conceived and born of water...whisky ha ha ha oh One is so hilariously funny.... but by the way just a simple question, on behalf of the young you have to understand, but hic...you don't think that it is not normal to drink somewhere between half and one bottle of scotch a day do you? I mean that would be normal...certainly was when we were growing up in the back blocks of downtown Snidey, and in the spirit of liberty and the joy of sonship being brought out into actuality hic pardon hic me... IT IS NORMAL TO DRINK ABUNDANTLY and hic see... see some people - nefarious leaping devils - think otherwise and have the audacity to verbalise that opinion, which goes directly against the teachings of these great men.

In the words of beloved Pigster...IT JUST SPELLS DISASTER!
And I think there is something in that for all of us as One closes One's bible.

The Erect Vessel
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Re: Spoof Reading

Post by The Erect Vessel » Wed Jan 16, 2019 5:36 am

Ahhh One is very pleased this morning hic. Satisfied that these evil disinfected Opposers are getting brought to nought hic. Brought to nought.

B.N.Jnr. So do you think God has come into the matter by dispossessing these evil ones and bringing our prayers about on Monday nights as it were so to speak speaking reverently in a federal sense?

E.V. Clearly. See, they are dying off. And mark my words if you leave the position; the position of greatest light, you could well end up dying out of fellowship which is a very serious matter.

A.B. (Annoying bastard). But if they didn't come back in, then they would die out of fellowship wouldn't they?

E.V. Well, that is tantamount to a sin against the Holy Spirit which cannot be forgiven in this life or the one to come. RAAAGH!!! You scared yet? Well you should be!! Because Mod is not gocked! IF YOU LEAVE THE POSITION YOU WILL GO TO HELL IN A HANDBAG AND NOT GET BACK!!!

A.B. So what happens to someone who is wrongly withdrawn from, and dies out of fellowship - AND OFF TO HELL THEY GO, THEN OH OH we have a change of leadership like when you got in when daddy popped his clogs, and you flipped it around because you and daddy hated Pigster's big fat guts, and the ones who got chucked out their assembly judgments were reversed, does that mean that St Peter yanks them out of Hell and pops them beside beautiful virgins in heaven then? That is a bit rough Paranoid Perverted PPP you!! Oh and by the way do you think Piggyboy is in Hell since he stuffed it up according to you, or was that fresh light?

E.V. ......(He fainted and has been revived with some scotch administered by some very feeling sisters)

The Erect Vessel
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Re: Spoof Reading

Post by The Erect Vessel » Wed Feb 06, 2019 5:22 am

Time for a Him

We are one, but we are many
And our Leader never said bum
We'll share a dream and sing with one voice
"I am, you are, we are The Bretherun"

Balaaam's A*** ? Can you sing the second verse, a little bit louder and a little bit worse to quote beloved beloved Pigster?

You know the Bretherun are reelly nice peple - they can spel wel and are very charutable

Always very nice to allsorts apart from um well no yes no especially ones who went astray and got ...okay well we kicked 'em to buggery

Sue The Bastards was the war cry of the greatest drunk of 'em all Big Jim Talltales Taylor

The Erect Vessel
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Re: Spoof Reading

Post by The Erect Vessel » Tue Feb 26, 2019 4:40 am

Well well well Big George Pell
Finally busted
7% of Catholic Priests under suspicion of abusing children in Australia...
Of course amongst us, nothing like that ever happened, because we are The Church and we are never wrong and besides Our Beloved was a Pure Man, and say that often enough and you can believe in anything such as ....well you fill in the gaps, repeat it three times with conviction and you'll believe it....(if you are a subject little sister, or a solid young bugger sorry brother..)
Pell and Hell rhyme don't they? Hmm..
Wonder what rhymes with Hales...not that I'm suggesting anything or alluding to anything in a federal connection speaking reverently as we move into care....gee we do talk a lot of tripe eh, apart from business.

See money making and business is what its all about and of course booze...booze booze booze

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