Spoof Reading

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charles
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Re: Spoof Reading

Post by charles » Fri Jul 20, 2018 5:37 pm

I like the word, "testymoney".

Gal 5.1
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Re: Spoof Reading

Post by Gal 5.1 » Sun Jul 22, 2018 12:30 pm

Would the the "testimoney" link in peculiar way with the open air "Preaching?" An important purpose of the "Testimoney" is to spoil the "egyptians" by convincing them that we are a church that witnesses to and cares for people. The "testimoney" needs to be maintained by ensuring our richly deserved charitable status is evidenced by opening our bibles in the street at lunch time and quoting one or two passages before hurrying back to our businesses to make more for the"testimoney".
However we do not share the great light and truth that these great men have laid before us in " the Open Air preachings". These great truths need great spiritual insight to be understood and we would not cast pearls before swine, would we?.

Ian McKay
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Re: Spoof Reading

Post by Ian McKay » Sun Jul 22, 2018 6:43 pm

Quite so, Mr Gal. Don’t cast your pearls before swine, because some swine might notice that the pearls are fake. There is a lot of wisdom in these old sayings.

Also, don’t criticise someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. That way, when you finally do criticise them you are doing so from a safe distance, and you have their shoes.

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Balaam's Ass
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Re: Spoof Reading

Post by Balaam's Ass » Mon Jul 23, 2018 3:37 am

Would the the "testimoney" link in peculiar way with the open air "Preaching?"
Ah, that event is now known as the open air ker-ching.

https://www.soundsnap.com/tags/cash_register

The Erect Vessel
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Re: Spoof Reading

Post by The Erect Vessel » Mon Jul 23, 2018 4:29 am

Well you see, the testymoney links with the times we are in; times of great change; massive change in fact.
We look after the change here in Snidey; do it amazingly well. Actually Gareth is both merry and gay while he is counting the great change that the lord has bestowed upon us.

Feel that there is something in that for all of us, mm and it is very deep too. Very deep. Mm.

I think we should all enter into it; this would be practical this great change. See it links with a piece of an ear. just a bit and look what happens when the lord comes into it. Bitcoin. that would be ok if you wanted to demonstrate in a practical way a few Bitcoin would be something the lord could bless One feels.

The Erect Vessel
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Re: Spoof Reading

Post by The Erect Vessel » Mon Aug 06, 2018 5:45 am

Just thinking blub bren, that in these last and closing days of the Testymoney, we are coming under increasing threats, and One fears, humbly speaking, One greatly fears that the ravages and attempts of none other than The Devil himself is behind it; undoubtedly so too One hastens to add, undoubtedly when it comes to the Priests in our local settings.

See the Priests lips keep knowledge. With that of course comes tremendous responsibility and why would we attempt to turn it over to a much lesser court - the courts run by democratic practices - something clearly of the Devil, and as we have the undoubted privilege that we have a divinely led Absolute Monarchy. Only one King, and of course as beloved Pigster would often repeat there can be no denying that there can be a multiplicity of Princes. (Stuff the princesses - we keep the women subject if they know what is good for them).

N.N. Would there be a link, in that sense with maintaining the purity in The Position?

E.V. Of course. See; see we have missed it. Missed it. See, my dead daddy often would say - gee he was such a happy funny man - always laughing and pulling jokes here there and everywhere :lol: :lol: :lol: ;) ;)
But One digresses. What was it you said again? Oh forget it. I'm the only one that matters around here.
Now where was I? Oh yes. Priests. Stuff this telling the cops when some little snotgobbler gets picked on by a Pedo amongst us. Jimbo the P***pot Pedo he got away with it, so why the hell would we tell on others especially if they have a good business which is working universally with what the lord has so graciously provided for our practical help.
Think and grow rich is what the Lord said.

N.N. Wasn't that Napoleon Hill?

E.V. No it wasn't. It must have been me or my dead daddy - maybe it was him.

N.N. So what do we do if a minor is caught in the act with another brother?

E.V. Well see, Wisdom's children would know how to act. That is pretty clear isn't it?

N.N. Aww thank you for your clarity...we are all really clear now. The one thing is pretty clear to us all now, is to ensure to remember that the Priests lips keep knowledge and personally I really get my jollies hearing about the norty things the young brothers and sisters get up to..

E.V. I think we should move along, as One feels assured that we expect a bright tomorrow all will be well, Faith can dream up lots of stories, All will be well, we can b/s lots of ex peebs, even if there's a hell of a smell.

The Erect Vessel
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Re: Spoof Reading

Post by The Erect Vessel » Fri Sep 28, 2018 4:58 am

E.V. Well, One has been busy carrying the cares of the assembly universally in a peculiar way, as it were so to speak, and we haven't had a very spiritual meeting for a while so One was behooved to read from the book of Ruth.
See Boaz see he was a practical man, and practically, you see practically is where many have lost their way, as in these last days that we are in, very aware of the devil, leaping devil coming on us in ever increasing attacks; nefarious attacks too...

D.B. What is a nefarious attack? Just asking on behalf of the young.

E.V. It means that they are not fair (from ancient Scots - nae fair)

O.D.B. So if the Lord is not blessing us in our businesses, would that raise a question as to where we are at spiritually?

E.V. Clearly. See, clearly The Lord was very very prosperous in his carpentry business, outlets in Sinai, Jordan and even had a string of franchised outlets throughout Galilee. It says so in the bible. Undeniable.

D.B. Would the application of more scotch help us to find these references in our bibles too do you feel?

E.V. Well, (as One resorts to politicians mode and answers that dopey question with an answer to a different question adroitly)...see, My Daddy, my Dead Daddy - the cheery happy-go-lucky funball that he was...aww boo hoo hoo you made me cry and now I am all upset thinking about my dead daddums..now where was I? Oh yes, see The Lord see, see he although he never had a place to lay his head, in today's world he would have had a bed like mine $26000k bed from our brother David Jones...gee you can hardly move it - tried once and I got blood pressure from it...evil thing...see we can't be too careful, we have to protect the position and go after these leaping devils. Chase them; sue them

O.D.B. What about the scripture that says about daring to take your brother to court?

E.V. Look you will get a priestly visit if you come away with foolish questionings like that! Because they beget contentions, and be careful what you beget young man. Tch.tch. We have to maintain the position which these great men gave their lives to secure... Sue the bastards was what beloved Jimbo the Pi**pot maintained.. Sue them on the beaches, sue them...

O.D.B. Aren't you mixing up with Winston Churchill's comments?

E.V. NO! I am never wrong. To think of the Lord's Servant EVER being wrong is dispensationally a sin against the holy spirit...
B.N.Jnr. If someone slighted what's Erect in our day, they would end up going to hell in a handbag eh?

O.D.B. Is the holy spirit scotch?

E.V. Oh I think we should shrink from our brother O.D.B. We will move into care now after a hymn and prayer..

T.B.C.
List of Initials
E.V. The Erect Vessel
O.D.B. Other Dopey Bastard
D.B. Dopey Bastard
B.N.Jnr.. Brown Noser Jnr..

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Balaam's Ass
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Re: Spoof Reading

Post by Balaam's Ass » Fri Sep 28, 2018 9:40 am

So who was NN in the earlier reading?

The Erect Vessel
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Re: Spoof Reading

Post by The Erect Vessel » Sun Sep 30, 2018 5:01 am

Oh the Lord has moved on since then beloved Balaam's A***. Tch..tch.. While God is the same yesterday, today and for the ages to come its amazing how the Lord can turn a corner at any juncture of the Testymoney especially if it alleviates the suffering of what's Erect in our day, ...practically see...in relation to making more money.

Now what was it you asked? Oh yes who was N.N.? Well, I'd tell you but I think that a charitable donation to one of my family trusts would have to come first, because the Priest's lips keep knowledge, in that sense.

Ahh it is so good to be The Lord's Servant... as Jimbo The Pedo once said 'its a great gig if you can get it.'

Now who can I screw for more money this blessed Lordsday mm??

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