What level of revulsion do you feel as the years go by?

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The Erect Vessel
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What level of revulsion do you feel as the years go by?

Post by The Erect Vessel » Fri Feb 08, 2019 4:24 am

I have been gone from this vile cult for decades now, and am somewhat amused at myself, that today after so many years I am even more reviled at the brethren - especially the Leader and his henchmen, than ever before.

Strange, and I wonder why. Do other ex's as the years go by, do you feel angrier or more reviled or sad or what feeling do you have today, as opposed to when you left (as I did), or were booted out for some misdemeanor such as looking at the head honcho the wrong way etc..??

I remember at 4 years of age telling my mother I didn't like the meetings and didn't want to go any longer. It took a lot longer than I originally thought to get away from them.

fisherman
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Re: What level of revulsion do you feel as the years go by?

Post by fisherman » Fri Feb 08, 2019 5:36 am

I’m not sure if I would describe my feelings as revulsion,but I definitely have a very strong feeling of injustice,of wrongs done and not admitted to.I believe we owe a debt to victims even those long dead to never let this travesty be quietly forgotten.

The Erect Vessel
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Re: What level of revulsion do you feel as the years go by?

Post by The Erect Vessel » Fri Feb 08, 2019 6:12 am

Blood crying to me from the ground Fisherman?

I remember hearing about JTJr as he was dying had the look of utter terror written all over his face... it says something doesn't it.

When I think about the leaders, I find my mind flitting over to Hitler and his henchmen... I wonder why?

fisherman
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Re: What level of revulsion do you feel as the years go by?

Post by fisherman » Fri Feb 08, 2019 3:43 pm

Blood crying from the ground? absolutely....to just quietly go on and turn a deaf ear and a blind eye to these travesties on the premis that ‘then was then and now is now’ as we've dropped a lot of old rules that we once kicked people out for ,broke up their famines and marriages.The idea that ’Commerce in the Assembly’ is good ,we’re making lots of money without any acknowledgment of families and marriages ripped apart is an absolute insult to the sacrifices thousands of people made because they would not bow down to the mightily EB alter. I believe that somewhere,somehow ,sometime this monument to ‘One Man’ that everybody did obeisance and kissed the hinder parts will come crashing down like despots statues erected by their regimes.’ The eyes of the Lord are in every place’ is not just some little homily.God requires the past.

Peter W Harrison
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Re: What level of revulsion do you feel as the years go by?

Post by Peter W Harrison » Fri Feb 15, 2019 5:17 am

I look back over the 36 years since my family and life were shattered. I had a feeling of inevitability, I was not “one of them”. However the brutal actuality of being condemned on unsustainable charges without any opportunity to defend my case, was shocking, but not all that surprising because I had seen it happen so many times - and I had remained silent. It is like an unwritten law that one does not allow one’s god given conscience to spoil predetermined judgements.

I suggest that the value of this topic is not to focus on the abhorrent behaviour, which has already been well described over the years, the need is how to cope with life after having lived in such a secure culture which then turns on you with abuse and militant rejection. The rejection remains alive in me to this day. Along with rejection we experience a special kind of loneliness in which no ‘outsider’ understands the cruel grip of the cult mindset.

Some seem to leave their past behind and ‘get on with life’. I feel bound to strive to understand what it is all about. I have dared to leave open to question, all beliefs and assumptions imbibed from the culture. I have respect for science because it opens so many windows to new understanding of creation and the Creator and, science is always open to adjustment. I value the Bible but find no basis to accept it as the inerrant word of God, partly because in the end this depends on human interpretation and application, which are inherently unreliable. I feel that God has a way of reaching us through our conscience. Also, “Ask and it shall be given to you. Seek and ye shall find. Knock and it shall be opened to you.”

How then should we react to this overwhelming monster which remains ever present? God appears not to be minded to intervene, yet we are exhorted not to ignore evil. The Biblical character Job had a dilemma with overwhelming disasters. He ends in conversation with God, who invites Job to contemplate the wide range of creatures, some of which are nasty, yet God takes ownership of them all and warns Job not to meddle presumptuously. I am trying to adjust to accepting the cult as a phenomenon into which we have circumstantially been uncomfortably entwined. God also made white ants which are an industrious community who are preoccupied in keeping out the light. Life throws up some weird systems. The challenge to us is how we respond, and for me that is pretty much what our lives are about.

Systems like the PBCC comfort their members with a reassuring picture of purpose in life which puts themselves centre stage. Central to their belief system is that God is acting through his chosen vessel to the degree that it is fatal presumption to harbour any thoughts which could be conflicting. They cherish a notion called self-judgement in which one renounces the right to think independently, but leaves one free to judge others who are deemed to be lacking in self-judgement! Self-judgement lubricates a system in which each member defers those above in the hierarchy. This inevitably results in absolute power for the man at the top. Even when he is wrong he is right! The man at the top has what it takes to exploit opportunities.

The system has great vitality, top level organisation, promotions and prosperity. Forfeiting one’s right to think critically seems a small price to pay for the benefits.
The reported high incidence of alcoholic or mental disorders requiring medical intervention seems to be accepted as price for the privilege of being included among the chosen.

My lifetime experience leaves me with little doubt that they do indeed sincerely believe whatever they collectively are constrained to believe. They are afraid to doubt. The psychological pressures are so overwhelming that, try as we have, we have not been able to affect change. I reluctantly accept their persuasions and in turn ask for their respect. Mindsets of this kind have infected humanity throughout history and prevail in many forms currently. This is a human susceptibility, perhaps even a kind of necessity. We must recognise also that the ‘world’ has its alternative systems of bondage. Deliverance from such bondages is a parallel pathway, less travelled. We might freshly look to Jesus as deliverer from these bondages.

fisherman
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Re: What level of revulsion do you feel as the years go by?

Post by fisherman » Fri Feb 15, 2019 5:45 am

I have the utmost respect for people who have lost spouse,children ,grandchildren ,parents and siblings to this diabolical cult.How they kept their sanity,I do not know.I suppose the final stage is acceptance and sadness of relationships lost that can never be recovered

The Erect Vessel
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Re: What level of revulsion do you feel as the years go by?

Post by The Erect Vessel » Fri Feb 15, 2019 6:01 am

Strange thing, ask an ex peeb when they left the brethies and they have no difficulty in remembering if not the date certainly the month and year. A bit like you remember where you were when 9/11 happened and when Lady Diana was killed.

A huge impact on all of our lives, and then seeing how different ones cope when they leave; some like the caged animals who are suddenly let loose often return to their cages.

What really sickens me is that as each year passes, this cult/business empire masquerading as a church ploughs on knackering the next generation's lives and the next and the next. When will it end?

Just makes me sick when I think about the leaders; just disgusting lowest of the low scum.

fisherman
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Re: What level of revulsion do you feel as the years go by?

Post by fisherman » Fri Feb 15, 2019 7:16 am

And to add insult to injury,getting rich off of the people they would drop like a hot potato on a whim .Don’t know how I can get along without them,but I’m more than willing to try..

Peter W Harrison
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Re: What level of revulsion do you feel as the years go by?

Post by Peter W Harrison » Wed Feb 20, 2019 2:44 am

One the most difficult thing to grapple with, in our pursuit of personal freedom and maturity, is FORGIVENESS. I How does one genuinely forgive one who either couldn’t care less or shamelessly claims to be sorry and then expects you to without question wipe from your memory a list of offences, when there is scant evidence of repentance? Well, if the Man of God has instigated and sanctified such behaviour then they will follow it through without blushing, (e.g. 2002 ‘review’).

“They know not what they do”, (Luke 23 v34) can become for us a sincere attitude, free of judgement. My experience tells me that these brethren do indeed believe they are doing the right thing. I suspect that fear of damnation has a lot to do with their apparent, fragile certainty. I find it a personal challenge however to extend this forgiving attitude to the top levels of the system. Do they truly believe divine appointment as is claimed? Maybe! This sort of thing has happened many times in history, including with Adolf Hitler. Our delusions evoked in Jesus the words “Father forgive them”. When I enter that space I experience a new freedom. Freedom from - and Freedom to...! But that is another big subject for Searchers to explore.

Outsiders frequently say ‘Oh, but they are free to think differently and they are free to leave the cult.’ The reality demonstrates that they are not free to think differently and the consequences of leaving are so horrendous that intentional leaving is virtually impossible. This is a system which causes good people to do bad things.

After many years of rejection it dawned on me that in subtle ways they were still in some aspects, controlling my life. For instance if I divorced my wife and remarried, I would be committing adultery. In fact, she aligned herself with her brethren in rejection of me. I decided to proceed with divorce to shatter that lingering control.

We must come to terms with the substance of ‘fear’. Most of our formative convictions had a background of fear. When faced with options and opportunities I still tend to reflect on standards and expectations from the past, but I now do this critically. I accept the fact that I am moulded by my past and to a greater or lesser extent this is the common lot of humans. So we can with understanding say “they know not what they do”, and we can include one’s self in “they”! We all need this forgiveness and grace. As we were often reminded back in there, the blessings come to the “overcomers”; Yeah!

Each must find for himself the balance between the negative but necessary witness-without-judgement, against evident evil, on the one hand, and positive pursuit of life on the other.

By genuinely including ourselves in the “they” we may effectively take our place alongside those who need this forgiveness. Our experience however is that while we may admit the possibility of being wrong, cult members will not join us on this ground, unless permitted by the man at the top, and he doesn’t need forgiveness because he is never wrong.

Revolting they may be but, having once been identified with them, pity and sympathetic concern leave me in a more authentic space.

fisherman
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Joined: Sun May 12, 2013 3:22 pm

Re: What level of revulsion do you feel as the years go by?

Post by fisherman » Wed Feb 20, 2019 3:01 am

One thing is certain and that is you have earned the right to voice your opinions ,thank you for sharing them.I find it much easier to forgive the ordinary brethren than I do the perpetrators of this travesty

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