Funnies

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Balaam's Ass
Posts: 627
Joined: Thu Feb 21, 2013 4:23 am
Location: Omnipresent

Re: Funnies

Post by Balaam's Ass » Wed Feb 08, 2017 11:42 pm

From another thread
I think its because Jesus is playing for Manchester City that this planning application has been kicked out.

Ah, God moves in mysterious ways,
His wonders to perform,
He gives old Broocie one big kick
And laughs at him in scorn.
Yes, God moves in mysterious ways,
His wonders to perform,
Throws Bruce the ball in one big pass
And kicks him up the

PeterF

Re: Funnies

Post by PeterF » Thu Feb 09, 2017 1:29 am

Balaam's Ass wrote:From another thread
I think its because Jesus is playing for Manchester City that this planning application has been kicked out.

Ah, God moves in mysterious ways,
His wonders to perform,
He gives old Broocie one big kick
And laughs at him in scorn.
Yes, God moves in mysterious ways,
His wonders to perform,
Throws Bruce the ball in one big pass
And kicks him up the
Ask your mother for sixpence
To see the big jarraffe
With pimples on his whiskers
And red spots on his

Aunty Mary had a canary
And thought it was a duck
She took it out the back
To teach it how to

Fry your eggs for breakfast
Fry more eggs for tea
The more you eat
The more you drink
The more you need to

Peter went out in his boat one day
And the boat began to rock
A great big shark came swimming by
And bit off his

Cock a doodle doo
What is the matter with you
Leave his alone and play with your own
And paddle you own canoe

May the farter sun and holy goat bless this word

The Erect Vessel
Posts: 511
Joined: Fri Feb 22, 2013 2:19 am
Location: Not la la land

Re: Funnies

Post by The Erect Vessel » Fri Feb 10, 2017 11:13 pm

Jesus slapped with a kissing ban by his MUM
His mother recently said in an interview: 'Girlfriends have to live by my rules, and there'll be no heavy kissing. Staying over, only once in a while.'

Well that is what the Daily Mail said... yes Dog moves in mysterious ways, said the sydlexic nam.

Do you think Jesus will link up with Aguero up front?

Or would it more link with something else?

Oh and where would the woman in John 4 link with this?

Would Jesus be particularly good at kicking people up the as our brother Balaam's ...... alluded to in a peculiar way?

Now I have things to do, look for the man in John 9 and other important exercises...

Ian McKay
Posts: 1459
Joined: Sat Feb 23, 2013 8:04 am

Re: Funnies

Post by Ian McKay » Sat Mar 04, 2017 12:13 pm

This is apparently an Australian singer called Sia whose photo appeared in today’s Times. Is she a particularly spiritual and subject sister?
Token.jpg

The Erect Vessel
Posts: 511
Joined: Fri Feb 22, 2013 2:19 am
Location: Not la la land

Re: Funnies

Post by The Erect Vessel » Sun Mar 05, 2017 10:15 pm

Clearly Ian. Clearly - she has got into the good of Headship

Ian McKay
Posts: 1459
Joined: Sat Feb 23, 2013 8:04 am

Re: Funnies

Post by Ian McKay » Sun Mar 05, 2017 10:23 pm

Yes, the angels can hardly fail to notice her.

twotimothytwo
Posts: 1511
Joined: Fri Feb 22, 2013 8:16 pm

Re: Funnies

Post by twotimothytwo » Sun Dec 10, 2017 10:28 am

A £1 million reward has been offered to anyone who can find conclusive proof that the Loch Ness monster exists.
This wedge of cash would be a huge boost to Brethren coffers and could just about cover the expenses incurred by the recent, expensive silencing of Big Tony, so would it be helpful to apply for planning to turn tumbledown Urquhart Castle into a shiny new meeting hall with windows and a drive-through porch?

twotimothytwo
Posts: 1511
Joined: Fri Feb 22, 2013 8:16 pm

Re: Funnies

Post by twotimothytwo » Tue May 22, 2018 1:55 pm

Does anything get more ironic than a Team claiming Rapid Relief selling wipes?

twotimothytwo
Posts: 1511
Joined: Fri Feb 22, 2013 8:16 pm

Re: Funnies

Post by twotimothytwo » Tue Jun 05, 2018 1:43 pm

The smell of the RRT Sausage Sizzle meals are drifting up the valleys for others to enjoy
https://www.facebook.com/search/top/?q= ... 0team%20uk

All I'm getting here is the stench of hypocrisy.

twotimothytwo
Posts: 1511
Joined: Fri Feb 22, 2013 8:16 pm

Re: Funnies

Post by twotimothytwo » Fri Jun 15, 2018 10:33 am

IN CELEBRATION OF THE HUMBLE SAUSAGE

We'd rather give an MP a sausage than vote for them.

We'd rather give a police officer a sausage than give them information.

We'd rather give a black person a sausage than marry one.

We'd rather give a 'worldly' a sausage than our own ex-member families.

We'd rather give a firefighter a sausage than become a firefighter ourselves.

We'd rather beg a sausage from a supermarket to BBQ and give away than buy our own.

We'd rather give a gay person a sausage than have them in our own homes.

We'd rather give 'worldlies' sausages than the fillet steaks we enjoy at home.

We'd rather BBQ sausages for ANYBODY than lose our charitable status.

When in Knightsbridge, we'd rather get a 70% discount on brand name pizzas, than cook sausages.

Charity at it's very best!

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